Impressions of days gone past

I had the pleasure of going to the dentist this morning. I need a crown and wanted to get it done before my dentist retires. I like her. And that hasn't always been the case with dentists.

So there I am, ipod way up loud trying desperately to zone out and not hear -- or worse -- smell the tools of destruction she is using in my teeth. I keep my eyes shut because I don't want to see the four hands which feel as if they are stuffed all the way inside my jaws, and definitely don't want to see the masked face with magnifying glasses peering way too close to my own. Every once in a while I remember to relax. Unclench all the muscles which are currently in flight mode, ready to bolt out of the chair. I don't feel that stressed, but now that I'm paying attention to such things, I realize that every muscle is tense and I know that if I don't relax, I'll be exhausted before my day even starts.

I'm going along swimmingly when she taps me on my shoulder. "Great.We're pretty much done but we need to take an impression." Ugh.  Immediately I think of Dr. Haimowitz, my childhood orthodontist.  This is not a good memory. To this day when I have an anxious stomach about something, in my head I refer to it as Dr. Haimowitz stomach. He left an enduring impression.

Okay, I said. I'm up for this but you should know I don't like that stuff and I'm a gagger. I threw up on a dentist once. That got her attention. The truth is I was a little kid and I think I was a good judge of character. Dr. Ellis was a creepy guy in a dimly lit office. I don't remember much except for a long hallway with a checked linoleum floor.  I got in the chair and said, "nope. Not happening." And then I puked. I was cute like that. My mom was not pleased, but I can't remember if I ever had to go back to him.

I never managed to puke on Dr. Haimowitz but I remember all too well his office, his nurse ( I think she was the first trans woman I ever met, thought I certainly didn't realize that at the time) and I remember seeing the reflection of what was happening in my mouth in his glasses. No ipods back then, I had to check out on my own. They did have Highlights in the waiting room, but that's a different story.

Today when the doctor showed me the tray for the impression, I will admit that technology has helped dentistry in these many, many years than have passed since my orthodontist days but it still brought back those memories of a mouth full of cement. It is still the same concept. Fill up a tray with seriously sticky stuff, stick it in your mouth, bite down and wait.  Breathe. Don't think, relax. Ick.  Ick. Ick.

I'm happy to report that as a certified grown up I did not throw up on anyone or anything. I'm a little better at the mind over matter part... but still. In this advanced technological age, why can't someone invent dental tools that don't smell like burning metal? They make odorless paint, is a no-smell epoxy too much to ask for? Dentistry has come a long way but there still road to travel. You can do this, dentists of the world.  Get out there and invent stuff. You'll make a lasting impression on all of us!