Was Washington Really Different or are Those Rose Colored Glasses?

Okay so here's the pet peeve of the day and after today, it has to be a good one to rise to the top.
Girl. 
That girl.  The girl at the front desk.  The girl who teaches Zumba.  The girl who introduced us.  The girl with the long hair.  The girl who was here Friday.  Just ask your girl to give us a call.  If I"m not here, just call the girls in the office.  There seem to be an abundance of adolescent females employed in Miami.

Was DC different or am I just remembering differently?  Or was it the crowd I hung with, those damn radical feminists.  Okay, but not at work.  Were they just so trained/intimidated by me?  Oy.

Most times I let it go.  I make the assumption to correct or suggest something different to the guy who owns the Zumba gym -- for whom English is not his first language -- the suggestion of some other word would be far harder than I'm up for.  I let it go, but it eats at  me.  He must have said it 10 times.  The girl who teaches Monday, who now is the same girl who teaches Thursday, etc. Ugh.

When the guy at the doctor's office -- the only man in the room -- told me to call the other girls  if I couldn't get him, I wanted so badly to say something but I chickened out.  What if the women right there, the very women whose dignity and respect I was trying to protect, didn't rally around what I was saying.  Or worse, didn't get it themselves?  What's the worst that could happen, embarrassment?  I didn't do and I felt bad the rest of the day.  Like I had let a real opportunity go by.  Its clearly stuck with me.

When my own primary care doc, a woman, told me to take my paper work to the girls up front, I couldn't resist.  The girls, I said?  She stopped, looked at me and smiled.  "Okay, what should I call them - the ladies?"  Hmm.  I offered how about the people at the front desk, take your papers to the folks up front, the women up front will check you out -- seems like there are a whole bunch of options.  She smiled and said good bye.  I don't know that I changed hearts and minds right there in that moment but I felt better, and that counts for something.

I have a friend who told me that she never thought about this before me and now that she has, she won't use the words in the same way.  This is the same friend who works in various operating rooms and tells truly horrid stories about the sexism that goes on in the OR.  While I was on a rant one day, I was explaining how one innocuous thing like calling a woman a girl is the slippery slope that leads to or makes it easier for a surgeon to look a neuroscientist up and down before declaring her pretty enough to work in his OR.  Are those two offenses the same, no.  Are they on the same spectrum.  You bet.

So do me a favor if you would.  If you don't already, open your ears to the language used around you.  Sexism is so commonplace we hardly even hear it.  Way to often we let it go by, even us radical feminists.  The next time you hear a grown woman referred to as a girl, say something, do something.  It doesn't have to be rude it can be as simple as repeating back with different language.  "Take this to the girls at the front desk."  Okay, so I take this to the women at the front desk and I'm done?  Simple,subtle but done nonetheless.

I thank you and the women thank you.  Even if they don't know they do.

And as for those rose colored glasses, well, my friends in DC will have to tell me if its really different there or I'm just remembering a city I miss.

Come see for yourself -- visitors always welcome.

Just one woman in Miami....

Me: Where do you stand on women's issues Candidate: I married one

Yep, that about sums it up.

Tonight, thanks to the generosity of a friend with an extra ticket, I went to a Champions of Equality fundraiser for Save Dade, an LGBT political group here in Miami-Dade County.  Now first let me put aside that old complaint I have about gay groups that don't have gay in their name.  What's up with that?  Are we thinking we can fool someone, but let's not dwell here -- how can I pick on Save Dade when HRC makes a much bigger target.  Instead you might ask, what are we saving Dade for or from or from who?

But back to being grateful, and I am.  Thank  you to my friend who shared the ticket.  It was a fun event, and I understand its growing each year.  I look forward to that.  Tonight they honored Congress member Debbie Wasserman Schultz and that was a perfect honoree.  She does good work in Congress on behalf of Florida and there aren't that many who do that -- at least not according to my politics. 

We have an election for county mayor coming up next week after  a huge recall election ousted the last mayor and one of the county commissioners.  Personally I think the whole recall/new election thing was a waste of time and most especially money.  It was engineered by one rich guy in the community and it will end of costing the taxpayers of the county any where between $10 and $15 million (it depends on if there's a run-off or not) and supposedly the reason for the recall was because the mayor  gave his friends and cronies raises while raising taxes on the people of the county.  Hmmm so he raised taxes and that's  why we should spend county money to recall him.  Yeah, I still don't quite understand how Miami works.  Oh sure, they'll tell you it was a landslide that voted to recall, and it was, 88%.  But get them to tell you how many people voted.  Voter turnout was ridiculously low as it will be again in this special election.  Why not wait until the term's over and vote the bums out, well, its just not as much fun nor as easy to fix the results that way.

But I digress, back to my story.  So I meet one of the candidates at the event tonight and he's purported to be one of the front runners.  I introduce myself and tell him that the fact that he's at the event bodes well for me.  He smiles and introduces his wife who kisses me hello.  That's very Miami.  I ask him about women's issues.  His smile start to turn a little deer-in-the-headlights.  Women's issues, he says?  Yes, women's issues, equal pay, protecting women's rights.  Oh he says, women's issues, well I married one.  Did he really say that? I told him I would hold it against him but tried to press a bit more.  The wife is quick to say he's for equal pay, she makes sure of that.  I ask about abortion rights, what if a clinic in the county were attacked?  Would he uphold the law?  Now that's where I made my mistake.  I handed the answer right to him and he was smart enough to take it. Of course, I will always uphold the law, he said.  And then he started looking around.  He was clearly done.

Later, I met another candidate, Gabrielle Redfern.  She's the only woman in the race and you know that counts for me. She is also awesome.  She's a petite firebrand.  I dont' know if she's got a chance or not, but she's got my vote, and not just because she lived in DC for 15 years -- on Capitol Hill no less! When I asked her why in the world she'd want to get involved with these no good crooked bastards she said because she could make a difference.  Tell me how, I said -- and the first thing she said was transit.  Wow, I knew I was going to like her right then.  If  you've ever been to Miami you know we're not big on public transit. Why use public transportation when you can drive your car (with seriously bad driving habits) every single solitary place you'd ever have to or want to go? No, its not often in my experience that you hear a Miami politician lead with transit.  She is behind the campaign to put bike rentals all over Miami Beach and is a zealous bike and environmental activist.  Oh yeah, I can see how this would make her unpopular in Miami.  Of course, I loved her.

With only four days to the special election it will be interesting to see what happens.  I'll keep you posted because in Miami, there's always SOMETHING going on.

Come see for yourself and visit!  Bienvenido a Miami!