It's a parade!

My job at the theatre was empty for more than a year before I arrived.  Maybe a year and a half.  The immediate former General Manager (GM) had been a long time employee, had some health problems which affected her job, and she stayed far longer than she was able to do the job.  Then they hired a guy last spring who lasted less than a month.  Seriously, 28 days give or take a day.  Rumor (from people who were there) has it that he fell asleep in a meeting.  His own department meeting.  One he was leading.  Sometimes it is hard to know if the bar is low or high for me.  One day, after a particularly bizarre day, I asked if anyone else had applied for this job or if I was the only sucker.  But I digress.

What I do know is that my colleague, M, had shouldered a load far  greater than any one person should – and for too long.  I can relate to that, so once I got into the job, and figured out the lay of the land in a beginning sort of way, my first priority was to make sure M knew that she had a team now and that there was someone who had her back.

Obviously, that’s a message better sent in deed than in word and it’s been high on my list since starting.

Now fast forward to just a couple of weeks ago.  M’s mom had a fall and as a result – or in hindsight, maybe because of it – they found she had some serious heart issues.  All of this brought me right back to when my mom had open heart surgery.  There is nothing scarier.  For those of us who are close to our moms and whose mother’s were just about the strongest influence in our lives… well, terrifying comes to mind.  But you do what you have to do to go forward, through the prep of waiting, through the surgery itself and the 12 year old residents (not really but they sure looked young) operating on your loved one, through the fire alarm that went off while my mother was in surgery – and yes this really happened.   Through it all to the other side where I was lucky enough to have my mom come out safely and still with us to this day. 

So it is all of this baggage that comes flooding back to me as M, her mom and her sisters prepare for and go through the first of two surgeries.  The good news is that a few days ago, her mom made it through the first surgery well.  Today they got some news that seriously complicates the treatment plan and needless to say, it was a shocker to M.

First, we went for a walk, just so she could get out of the office.  On the way back, she told me she needed a vacation.  No, she said, what I really need is a parade.

Well you don’t need to tell me twice.  I can’t help her momma and it feels so useless “just” to be supportive and consoling… but a parade, that’s something I could do.  I work in a theatre, after all, this should be something I could pull off.

So I emailed the staff at about 1:30 or 2 pm and said that M was having a bad day and she wanted a parade.  I said we would meet at 2:55 to plan and commence parading at 3 pm.  The props master was the first to reply.  He said he had some balloons and a pink lei.  I asked him if he could find a tambourine and anything else that might be useful.  I asked the Education Director if I could dig around in her materials and she said of course.  So armed with some beads, masks, a red Christmas garland or  two, some pipe cleaners and popsicle sticks and colored paper we made a parade.  We made signs, little flags and festooned ourselves.  The props guy outdid himself with a bag of New Year’s eve type noisemakers and we were off.  There must have been 15 people.  I know we could not have looked like much.  We were full of good intentions if a little shy on quality decorations and it turns out that we tipped ourselves off by making too much noise before even leaving the conference room and parading the 25 feet to M’s desk, but it didn’t really matter.  By the time we got there, she was in tears.  The good kind.  The kind that means you just found out that all the people you work with really do care.  The kind that means when it comes to your Momma, everyone gets it and everyone wants to help.  I know that M was appreciative, I could see it in her eyes. 

Later, when she thanked me, I told her that it had made all of us feel good to make her feel better, if only for a little while.  But beware, I told her, because when you tell me that you need a parade, you just never know when it will arrive.

That’s where I work.  A little funky sometimes.  A little dysfunctional others.  But when you need a parade, we’re right there to make it happen.