Life is good even when it sucks

Before I tell you about Grief Camp... check out the little lizard I saw the other day. Same little guy in both photos. He was skittering along at a pretty good clip. This is with my phone camera. I love those things. I love having a camera with me all the time but have not desire to have my camera bumping along in the way every day. Anyway. Your lizard for the day. Cool plant on the left. Clearly in the Bird of Paradise family but not quite the same.

Okay now on to my weekend at Grief Camp. It was okay. The kids were great. As always they just amaze me with what they are able to handle in their young lives. Unlike the camp up in DC, this camp was much more loosey goosey. More like getting all these kids together who have all experienced a loss is enough. And maybe it is. Maybe its better than nothing. They do activities related to the grief (decorating picture frames, decorating pots to plant forget-me-nots) but no actual therapeutic activities and not trained counselors walking us through things. Lots and lots of free time. Ugh. You know what that means. Football, frisbee, tag, kickball and volleyball, to name just a few. The volley ball was fun but I definitely found muscles I didn't know I actually possessed. Lest you think I'm whining unnecessarily, here's a picture of our cabin.



Plush, huh? The woman at the camp told me they just renovated and that the beds used to be thinner. Nice. I'm not sure if you can see just how narrow they are as well. Oy.

Anyway, a weekend like that, even if its not as fulfilling as I had hoped, makes you realize how lucky we all are. Not so sound mushy or anything but we are lucky and it pays to think of it every now and again.

I'm trying to remember that message myself right now. And I do. I realized at camp that in DC, mainstream includes all sorts of people -- gay and straight. Down here, its just not the same. It have really become obvious to me why people who grow up knowing they're gay or come out later, end up leaving small towns and even big ones, in search of community. Its terribly isolating when you can't find people like you, whatever that may be. There's a difference down here in the intellectual repartee or engagement. Certainly there are smart people here. Brilliant, I'm sure at all the universities. So maybe its not intellect that I'm missing... but politics. But there's no doubt for me at all that I'm missing gay community. Its here somewhere I 'm sure. But its underground, married off or otherwise invisible to the naked eye.

We are moving ever closer to the clinic.. step by step, inch by inch. Its slow going but it will happen. Then things will pick up. I am eager to have an office to go to and colleagues and finite duties -- finish this, do that. So much easier than the vision thing.

So, while I wait, my attempts to learn Spanish are plugging along. My sorrows are drowned by sitting at the pool or taking my book under a palm tree at the ocean and I bide my time. I am glad I made this adventure. I have learned so much already. Mostly about myself but about health and illness and organizations as well. I am confident that this business is going to succeed and possibly make it big. This is my chance outside the box. Outside the non profit world where I would happily toiled for my entire career. So we'll see. Once you find you CAN do something it doesn't mean you HAVE to do it. We'll see.

Ahora, mi grupo por hablando espanol es in quince minutos, aqui en mi casa. Tengo que ir a prepararse. (I had to get help with that last one!)

Hasta luego mi amigas y amigos. Until next time.
Take a moment.
Look around.
Hug your momma if you're lucky enough to be able to do that.
Smooch on a loved one.
Look at the scenery.
Take a picture and send it to me.
Cards and letters always welcome. Visitors too. Hurry before the real hot starts.